A different way to think about weddings...

A little boy went to Mass every week with his parents. Their Catholic parish and school was small and intimate. Everyone knew everyone else. Liturgies were well led and attended, worship was robust, presbyteral leadership was pastoral, the school thrived and families enjoyed an active parish calendar, both liturgical and social. This was a good place to grow up.  

Every week, just before the Entrance procession, the little boy would turn to look over his shoulder toward the narthex. His parents began to notice this habit and wondered why the boy repeated the action week after week. 

"Why do you turn around just before Mass begins?" his mother finally asked the boy. "What are you looking for?" 

The little boy's answered surprised his parents. "i always wonder if this is the Sunday that we'll see a wedding at Mass," the boy responded. "I always wonder why we never have a wedding at Mass. So I always check to see if maybe this will be the week that the bride and groom will come in with the priest. Maybe it will be someone we know. Wouldn't that be great?"

The little boy grew up. When the time came for him to be married, it never occurred to him to ask if he and his fiance could be married during regular Sunday worship. On their honeymoon, the couple attended a 5:00 pm Vigil Mass in a large cathedral-style church. A handful of people created the assembly that appeared to be the folks that usually attended the vigil. The assembly prayed and sang well and the presider preached and presided well. But the worship space was so large that intimacy was lost and the people seemed disconnected from one another.

Just prior to the final blessing, the couple heard talking and movement coming from the narthex of the church. A bride in full regalia but without female attendants was attempting to straighten her headpiece. Three or four men in tuxedos we attempting to assist her. As vigil Mass participants left the church, the couple looked around to see who would be present for this wedding that was about to take place at 6:00 pm. There was no one left in the church.

As the couple passed the bride who was still struggling with a very long train that trailed from her cap, the man's new wife approached the little gathering and offered to help. She straightened out the bride's cap, fluffed the long train and nodded to the now smiling and grateful wedding party that all was well. The couple stood and watched as the bride and the men in the tuxedos walked down the very long aisle of the vast, empty church. The man remembered his childhood and how he had wished that there had been a wedding in his parish during regular worship. He wondered why this wedding could not have taken place at the vigil Mass one hour earlier, in the presence of an assembly who worshipped well and would have rejoiced in the couple's happiness, praying with them and for them with robust prayer and song rather than leaving them to experience what was sure to be a weak liturgical wedding celebration.  

With the publication and implementation of the Roman Missal, Third Edition, the rubrics for wedding liturgies now call for a spoken (or sung) Gloria at wedding liturgies. Jerry Galipeau, Vice President and Chief Publishing Officer for the J.S. Paluch Company and its music and liturgy division World Library Publication posted an interesting letter (with permission) on his blog Gotta Sing Gotta Pray from a pastoral musician on the subject of the Gloria at wedding liturgies.

The post poses some interesting insights and poignant questions about sung assembly song and the insertion of the recited or sung Gloria at Catholic weddings liturgies. The comments on the post may interest you as well. Take a minute to click the link to read the entire post at http://gottasinggottapray.blogspot.com/2013/08/wedding-masses-and-gloria.html. 

The Gloria at wedding liturgies

This change from the past practice of no recited or sung Gloria at wedding liturgies presents particular challenges in the way of assembly participation, particularly for non-practicing and non-Catholic persons who gather to celebrate a wedding. Attempt to yield both a spoken and musical response from assemblies gathered for a wedding can sometimes be as painful as pulling a tooth without anesthesia for leaders of worship. The insertion of the Gloria at wedding liturgies may provide an opportunity to reflect on how pastoral leaders invite spoken and sung participation at wedding liturgies. Here are a few questions for consideration: 

1. What user-friendly worship materials do ministers of hospitality place in people's hands as they enter the church? Worship aids that contain the prayers and music specific to the wedding celebration assist and encourage the assembly to pray and sing at weddings. If you use a hymnal instead of a worship aid, which one do you use? (Theater-style programs that contain nothing more than a list of names, site the scripture passages and offer the title of songs do nothing to assist people to pray; they only add to the mess that people leave behind in the pews when the wedding ends.) Perhaps your pastoral context employs technology to assist the assembly to participate at wedding liturgies. Do you prefer to worship aids or books? In your opinion, which method works best to encourage participation at a wedding liturgy? We'd love to know.

2. Does a well-rehearsed cantor provide sound musical leadership? The cantor is often times the first person to greet an assembly. A warm welcome and a brief rehearsal of some of the necessary music responses inform those who gather and may be expecting to be entertained that liturgy is the work of the people and will require their participation. How do you prepare people to pray before the wedding begins? We'd love to know. 

3. If you're aware that the Gloria is now part of the wedding liturgy, what is your current practice regarding the implementation of the hymn prayer at wedding liturgies? Do you recite the hymn or sing the hymn? If you sing the Gloria, what setting do you use? Antiphonal setting or sung straight through? Perhaps an ensemble leads music for wedding liturgies in your pastoral context. Does the ensemble sing the Gloria as the assembly listens? We'd love to know.

4. If you preside as a priest or deacon at wedding liturgies, how do you elicit sung and spoken responses at wedding liturgies? The Gloria is new to the wedding liturgy. However, the responsorial psalm and acclamations have been part of the church's liturgy for many years. As a leader of prayer, how do you encourage a diverse gathering of people to pray and sing at a wedding liturgy? We'd love to know. 

Just imagine

Perhaps the insertion of the Gloria for wedding liturgies in the Roman Missal, Third Edition comes as a surprise to some of you, and perhaps not a welcome one. Active participation can be really challenging when a large number of people who gather for weddings are non-practicing Catholics, non-Catholics and people with no faith background whatsoever. Can robust worship really occur at a wedding liturgy in prayer and song with such an eclectic (and sometimes unwilling) population of people? We think that it can with some imagination, like the little boy in the story. 

• Just imagine if wedding liturgies were celebrated within the regular scheduled celebration of Sunday morning worship. 
• Just imagine the potential for non-practicing Catholics, non-Catholics and unbelievers who attend the wedding liturgy and anticipate entertainment as silent spectators to be invited, led and supported in prayer by an engaged assembly in word and song. Imagine the opportunity for evangelization and the call to holiness by the church at prayer for those who do not know how to pray. 
• Just imagine the people who fear that they will be judged for being away from faith for a long time to find themselves generously and lavishly welcomed by a church that genuinely rejoices their presence among them. Imagine the opportunities for reconciliation and renewal. 
• Just imagine maximizing the potential for robust worship through the parish community that regularly gathers to celebrate the source and summit of faith, the Eucharist. Imagine empowering the church, the people of God to witness a sacrament of God in their midst --  a couple who will marry in their presence. Imagine the parish community committing their ongoing service to this new married couple as a sign of communion with them. 
• Just imagine the opportunities for all ministers of liturgy to serve this couple and their guests at a Sunday (or a vigil) celebration with profuse and ubiquitous welcome, tenderness and warmth. Imagine the Gospel witness in action and so persuasive, so vibrant and so inviting that upon return from their honeymoon, this new couple returns to be an active part of the worshipping community because their experience of the parish has been so wonderful, they just cannot stay away.
• Just imagine a wedding at the principle Sunday liturgy where the principle choir sings and serves as the leader of sung prayer. The cantor leads the psalm response and sings the verses of the psalm from the ambo. The sung prayer of the people is already parish tradition. Faithful worshippers sing the familiar with the sung responses, acclamations, hymns and songs with prayerful vigor. The addition of the Gloria at a wedding liturgy becomes a non-issue; the hymn is known and sung by this worshipping assembly and already part of regular Sunday worship. 
• Just imagine a priest who pastors two, three and even four parishes having the support and assistance of those parishes if a wedding occurred on a regular Sunday morning or Saturday vigil Mass. Imagine a paid staff or a volunteer wedding ministry that would anticipate pastoral needs, assist with all of the details that accompany a wedding and exceed the expectations of couples (who can sometimes be quite entitled). Imagine lifting the burden of preparing multiple liturgies and focusing on one liturgy, allowing presbyters to put their pastoral attention on sacramental work with the couple and for celebration of Sunday worship that includes a wedding. 
• Just imagine a portion of the Sunday collection tithed as an offering to the poor, which is part of the wedding liturgy that people seem to often forget. Imagine stirring social conscience on behalf of the poor, to whom the Gospel clearly gives priority. 

Change - a hard walk uphill

Things change (including rubrics!). For Christian disciples, the constant element that never changes is the Gospel. Our mission stays the same despite constant change encircling us all from day to day. "In every age, the church carries the responsibility of reading the signs of the times and of interpreting them in the light of the Gospel, if it is to carry out its task." (Church in the Modern World [Gaudium et Spes] 4) 

Perhaps this news of the Gloria offers us an opportunity for a creative solution. Change can be a hard walk uphill. Change takes hard work, time, patience, vision, imagination, vision and a willing spirit. For the Christian, add prayer, community and faithful discipleship into that mix. Dialogue and openness to change help. Perhaps the walk uphill never seems to reach the plateau where we can stop, catch a breath, rest awhile until we continue uphill. Has the church changed since Vatican II? Well, that only took 50 years. The snail's pace uphill climb can feel, well, eternal. But isn't that the point? God's time is not our time and this may be time to re-imagine the the next stretch. How will we imagine shaping the future now in worship for the generations of Catholic Christians who will follow us? Maybe the way we celebrate sacraments is a good place to start.

Postscript: Perhaps some overlooked questions might be, "Would you want a couple and their guests to celebrate a wedding at a Sunday Mass in your parish? What would they see? Would they be tempted to return because of the warmth of the community, the beauty of the music, the resonance of the homily, the rich symbols of the church evident in the pastoral and presidential skills of the priest-celebrant? Your answers may inform your next move. 

 

 

Comments

[Linda Reid]

We actually had a wedding at our 4PM mass last year. She was having the big wahoo at Disney the following week, but her church ceremony was at a parish liturgy. It was just lovely in it's simplicity and the parish was delighted to participate in their ceremony!
Like · More · Saturday at 6:28pm

[Denise Morency Gannon]

Thank you for your hopeful comment. We must begin to use Christian Initiation as the rite that informs how and when we celebrate rites that belong to the worshipping Sunday assembly rather than as isolated private events.