Everything Happens for a Reason (NOT)

February 13, 2022

“My brothers and sisters, we believe that all the ties of friendship and affection which knit us together as one throughout our lives do not unravel with death.” Vigil for the Deceased, Order of Christian Funerals, #71

I am the mother of murdered son. On April 12, 2108, K-9 Sergeant Sean McNamee Gannon’s life ended with a bullet through his head when he went with other officers to serve a warrant on a criminal who was guilty of 125 prior offenses. Sean was thirty two years old and happily married for two years to a wonderful girl whom he loved very much. They were a wonderful couple together. He was well-educated, a devoted friend, astute and compassionate in his work and work ethic and dedicated to workouts, health and community service on and off the job. Sean was very close my husband and to me, to his sister and brother, a friend to their spouses and devoted to his grandparents until their deaths. He died months before his first nephew was born and missed all three of our grandchildren’s entrance into the world. To them, he is a face, a story, a name. We will miss him every day for the rest of our lives. His absence to us is palpable always.  

Sean’s K-9 partner, K-9 Nero was also shot. The bullet traveled through his jaw to his esophagus and landed in his shoulder. Sean died on impact and was carried out of the attic by another officer in the attic and a third officer who called in “Officer Down.” They escaped the killer’s illegal gun waiting to shoot them from his hiding place behind some installation in the abandoned attic. The killer was on his cellphone with his ex-girlfriend and mother of his young daughter and told her, “I’m taking out as many as I can.” The crime scene was a nightmare of SWAT, backup officers, ambulances and other law enforcement agencies.

K-9 Nero was bleeding out with no redemption in sight; he was choking on his own blood while negotiators attempted to talk Thomas Latanowich out of his hideout in the attic. Through the collaborative between negotiators and the killer’s former lover and a cell phone between them, Latanowich gave himself up. K-9 handlers went to rescue Nero. Because of an old law, the ambulances on hand were not able to transport a K-9 to the nearest veterinarian for help. A veterinarian surgeon who was at the scene got into a cruiser with several K-9 handlers and used a straw to keep Nero’s airway open until the dying K-9 could be surgically repaired. Several days later, Sean’s wife of only two years took a shirt from Sean’s closet and went to see Nero. Up until then, the wounded animal was lethargic, refusing food and not moving, despite the exquisite care of the veterinarian hospital and experienced K-9 handler. She placed the shirt under his head so Nero could pick up the scent from Sean’s shirt. Nero’s tail began to slowly wag; he recognized his deceased partner’s body scent. After Nero was released, the first thing that he did was go to Sean’s cruiser to find his handler. Nero was placed in the care of an experienced retired K-9 officer who had trained Sean and Nero as a puppy to work together before they went to K-9 training together. Sean, already an experienced K-9 handler because of his work with K-9 Thor in Narcotics Detection, was not only from his family, his department and his community, but also from his two K-9’s who would have died in Sean’s stead. That is the faithfulness, the intimacy, the love and duty between K-9 handlers and their K-9’s, all on behalf of public safety.

Everything happens for a reason.

NOT.

I’ve heard this mantra so many times. I personally believe that someone came up with that prosaic aphorism to make themselves feel better about the difficult things that inevitably occur within the time we spend on this earth. We expect some events to happen; others catch us by surprise and some shock us. Some trials are more caustic than others but whatever they may be, they leave their scars and wounds as the heart markers that life presents to us all, some more than others. That’s the Beatitudes in a nutshell. (Luke 6:20-23)

Nothing happens for a reason. Reasonable people may attempt to find the cause of a terrible things that happen to very good people. I say that it’s all part of life’s learning and may even become a gift (or in Luke’s terms, a blessing) if we allow the abysmal events to take our personhood in directions that we never thought possible. Life, with all of its coils and twines may actually open our hearts a bit wider to understand the travails of our fellow earthlings and turn the vile and appalling events into positive action for others. If I’ve said it once, I’ve said this one thousand times: the grace of God (translated: God’s love) is a powerful entity. When we lean on grace, we lean on love. The ultimate love. The love who became human to show us that we’re never alone. Ever. The trick for Christians is to become that love for one another now. We were born to belong to one another.

I told a friend whose son died at age twenty-one in Afghanistan, a Marine that the heaven-lined streets of good people (Christians call this the community of saints, named and unnamed), along with God's grace help us to act on behalf of others when we cooperate. Not everything happens for a reason. Life is life; there's a good and bad side. We take the bad and turn it into something good. That is the expectation from anyone who is born, lives life and dies.

There. I’ve said it.

I told my friend what I tell myself: our sons, who certainly died too young will never grow old, never experience illness, a broken heart and the myriad things that happen to us all in whatever time we spend on this earth. We can say that our loved ones are always with us and they are, more than we know, just behind a veil where we cannot see. We just wish we could see them one more time. That’s being human.

In any circumstance where life finds you, be it illness, grief, poverty, hatred, bullying, hungering for justice, praying to forgive those who hurt you, attempting to make peace with people who have no wish for peace but prefer power – this is life. Depending on how much we want to experience a change of heart because bad things happen to really good people is entirely our decision. Trying to find the reason for everything that happens is a waste of time and energy. Things happen. How will we let what has happened change us into better people for the greater good?